Shit My Dad Says
by Justin Halpern
Editor: Pan MacMillan
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“At 28, I found myself living at home with my 73-year-old father.As a child, my father never chopped words, and when I screwed up, he had a way to cut right through bullshit, and pointing exactly why I was an idiotWhen I came back, I was still, for the most part, an idiot.But this time, I was smart enough to write all the things he told me”Meeting Justin Halpern and his fatherNearly 1.5 million people follow MHalpern’s philosophical reflections each day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touchingly close to the age of memory around the best of his wordsWhat emerges is chaotic, funny, true portrait of a father and son a relationship from a new comic strip of the voiceJustin says at one point, his father is “like Socrates, but more angry, and in a bad mood”; and that’s the kind of shit he says”You know, sometimes it’s nice to have around youBut now, isn’t this one of those momentsNow gimmie the distance, we’re not looking at bullshit about itHappy Birthday, I couldn’t introduce youOh, Mom has it for you.Well, it’s from me, then, unless it’s shit.”Your brother brought his baby this morningHe told me he could handleHe couldn’t get up for shit.Just sitting thereGreat disappointment”The worst thing you can be is a liar.Okay, well, yeah, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but NEXT, number two is a liar.Nazi 1, Liar, 2″Why would I want to live to 100I’m at 73 and shit’s starting to get boring.By the way, there’s no money left when I go, just for the record.’
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